Winter in the SF/Bay Area is very different than winter in New York, where I grew up. In NY it's cold and grey with the rare and short lived dustings of white. In the Bay Area it's chilly, wet and green. It rains here from about November till sometime in April or May, then it stops and the land dries up, the hills go golden and then eventually brown. Around March we are all sick of the rain but by September we are watching the skies and praying for its return because just before the rains come we get fire season. The whole thing is a trade off.
Along with the rain comes seasonal allergies. In the winter its mold and dust, two organism that LOVE the high humidity. In the summer it's anything and everything that pollinates, happy as can be for all the winter rain followed by the warm sun. Being allergic to mold, dust and lots of growing things means I have year round allergies along with my Chemical Sensitivity. The summer is not so bad, its mostly hay fever type symptoms and hugging my air purifier a lot. In the winter though the damp and the chill gets into my bones along with the allergies and I end up with my annual sinus infection.
Since I have gotten sick every winter since I got MCS, I have come to expect to be sick in the winter. I learned this year that there is a problem with this plan. It tends to make me assume the worst and almost -not welcome the illness- but be pre-disposed to getting sick, as though there is no hope of not getting ill. My whole mind set for the winter becomes one of defeat and despair. Turns out this is a great way - energetically to get not just sick, but really really sick.
Not that I buy the theory that we make ourselves sick, I think that's blaming the victim and not helpful for healing. I do believe though that in starting my winter out feeling defeated I made choices that were not in my best interest. I didn't get the care I should have gotten for myself early on, specifically a flue shot and staying up to date on my allergy shots. I didn't stay on top of my symptoms and in contact with my doctor when things stayed bad and then only when they got much worse did I call her. The end result? A two week stay in the hospital. Worse yet, eight days of that was in ICU on a ventilator while they fought to keep me alive and kill the double pneumonia, H1N1, and staff infection that had taken over my body. And I thought I was just going to the ER for a quick fix!
I will say this for near death experiences - they certainly adjust one's perspective on life. Not the least of which is to show you how loved you are. I woke up to an abundance of love that I will never forget. So many people offered prayers, lit candles, came and read to me, played music for me, just spared a moment to keep me in their thoughts to help me find my way home - I can never thank you all enough for your love.
I'm going to be months healing from all of this, and while the impatient cat in me is not thrilled with this news, the creative cat is okay with this. I brought a lot of data back from the abyss that I need to process and there was a lot in my brain before I went adventuring, so some down time to rest and cogitate is no bad thing.
All of this is a really long winded way of saying I probably wont be posting much around here for a while... I got some sleeping to do!
Blessings & Gratitude,
Kate
Origin: master-of-pentagram.blogspot.com
